Ready, Set, Read!

Reading aloud to grown ups, at least from my own work, used to make me nauseous and sweaty like I had the beginnings of a flu. This is a problem if you're in a fiction writing class. When it was my turn to read part of a chapter in the workshop, my face would turn deep red, my hands would become cold and sweaty, my mouth would dry up like I'd been smoking the wacky weed, my stomach would shiver like jello and my voice would tremble, quake and threaten to crack at the most inopportune moments. By the time I'd read my piece, I'd have to leave the room for water--some to drink and some to splash on my face.
And then it changed. I told the professor, A.B. Paulson, how bad it was for me to read to the members of our class and he told me to think about my breathing and slow down. He didn't promise I'd feel better. He just said breathe and slow down. Thinking of filling my startled lungs instead of freaking out about the words on the double-spaced page in front of me helped a bunch. So did practicing alone with no audience except little Musoweinie, our dachshund.
It wasn't until about a year ago reading a story I'd won the Doug Fir Fiction prize for at the Someday Lounge that I actually enjoyed--no, loved the experience. Since that night in a packed bar when I read my work to a crowd of friends and strangers I haven't been afraid again. I hope that doesn't change as I go into this season of events for Little Green. Thursday June 3, I read at PSU from my novel. I've been practicing like crazy and I really can't wait to bring my inner diva out to play!